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Well, constant reader, another year has come and gone. Alas, I feel I don't have much to show for it.
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living."
—Gail Sheehy
Ain't that the truth?
So this year is going to be different. I know I've said that a thousand times before. But this time, change has to take place. I spent most of 2008 in a dark depressive funk, one in which I didn't think I'd be able to drag myself out of. I wasn't even looking forward to the holidays.
DD had to put up all the Christmas decorations (which we took down today, by the way). If it weren't for her, we probably wouldn't have decorated at all; possibly, we wouldn't have even had a Christmas.
But somehow, it all came together, in spite of my negativity.
So, you ask, what has changed me today as compared to yesterday?
Several things, most notably, I'm damn sick and tired of feeling mentally like shit and feeling like I can't do anything about it. Yesterday, as I reflected on 2008, I realized that yet another year had went by (in a blink), and I had nothing to show for it. I didn't go anywhere new; I didn't learn anything new (except knitting); and most of all, I am stuck in the same patterns of behavior—which lead nowhere except to the Well of Self-Pity.
I hardly journaled at all last year. So many days are lost because I didn't record them. I don't know how I fell out of the habit, but somehow I did, and that was not fun to realize. Keeping a journal is important to me, so that is one habit I will be taking back up this year in 2009.
Also, I plan to focus on my spirituality, spending more time in quiet contemplation, while living in the world. Being a kinder, less reactive person will be difficult for me to accomplish, but it will happen.
Getting our finances in order is my number one priority. DH & I plan to take a Financial Peace University class offered at the bank, and I think it will not only help our finances, but help our relationship as well.
This will be a year of change; I plan to keep a record here on this blog.
Today, I began by simply taking a walk around the neighborhood. It wasn't too cold. DD went with me. We had fun. The earth is in repose now, waiting patiently for spring. I feel that I've been waiting far too long for my own spring to come, but now, it's finally here.
Wish me luck.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
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1 comment:
Hi there, I found your blog after I searched to see if William Forrester was a real author or Avalon Landing was a real book. It's interesting that you seem to be up beat and are working on a novel. I have just recently had a book published and no, I'm not trying to plug it here, instead I would just like to wish you luck. My book is not a novel, although I would love to write more. The single biggest thing that helped me to complete my book was that I had a contract with deadlines. There were many times when I wanted to give up but I knew I had to continue. Maybe you could make a contract with yourself and set some deadlines for your book. Set yourself some goals of completing one chapter every 4-6 weeks (I know it sounds tough but this is what will drive you). Don't give up. Then at the end of the year you will have your first draft - what a great way to start 2010. Good luck with your project.
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